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Monday, June 01, 2009

teLL mE iM speciaL even thOugh whEn i knOw iM nOt.

i hAd rEcentLy fEel very demOtivated & dOwn. fEels hOpeless & useLess. jUst, what aM i living fOr? and whAt aM i reAlly? i kNow, i dont dEserve a chArming prince cOz im nt a princess & my lyfE is nOt, nOt evEn any neAr tO a fairytaLe. i kNow, im nOt a genius kid whO can aCE all her academic subjEcts. aNd iM not boRn intO a rich cEo family. iN othEr woRds, iM just a plAin ugLy kid living in a destructive enviroNment wherE evErything falls apArt and nOt sMart enuff tO qualify for higher stUdies tO makE her famiLy proUd and whEre mOney is thE rOot of all probLem and bElieve it or nOt, i aM a loner. yEs, soMethings diD chAnge for the bEtter. bUt ME? iM nOt any bEtter. the bruise may be gone and teARs may nt be shed. thAt's tO kip up with being BraVe & sTrONg. bUt aLthOugh i've provEn my strEngth & kip evRyonE happy, nO oNe kNows hOw tiring thE facAde cAn bE. aNd whEn i fEel reAlly reAlly weAk, i juST fall dEeper & pOssibly breAk intO pieces. stiL, i hAf tO gEt back up on my oWn and face thiS wickEd worLd alOne. and then i find myself sAying , "ShaiKah NuruLain, u hAf tO deaL with this, sO, just DEAL with it!'' aNd get uP tO cOntiNUe waLking. And then wAt happens? the cycle repeAt itseLf. and again,i find myseLf repeating the same line. '' DeaL With iT!''.

And aLL im dOin nOw is, im hoLding on. hoLding on nt for my duMb ugLy seLf, but fOr YOU. (whOever tt might be)

MystiQaL Star

* 6/01/2009 03:44:00 AM
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