dAMn. iM nOt hAppy since last weEk. things kEep on hAppening as days passed. im lOsing my grip on things. its irritating bUT i cANt controL it. evErynight, i will sit on my bed n stare into space for i doNt know hw loNg. tHinking of stUpeed things. its reAlly tiring. And ive nOt bEen productive in sCh. tOld ya thAt i cANt foCuz. evrything just distract me. or is it me distracting myself? i doNt kNow. In anycase, jus wanna post my complaints here.
i usEd to think that laptOps are just for display and it is more of a hassle to carry it arnd n stuff like that. i used to think tt it is nOt any gOod an iNvestment. However, nOw, right nOw, i cAn safely say thAt I NEED A LAPTOP. iNdeed, it is a neccessity for mE. I nEEd one tO assist me in sch stuff. i reAlly cAnt rely on my half dEad pC and the crOwd in the lib waiting to use the coMp. its reAlly freAking piss me oUt. 2ndly, i nEed a wAtch. sAw this one wAtch at bUgis junction, cost arnd 30bucks and i kinda like it. But again, nO means to purchase it. And i just bOught myself a shOe to sustain me for now coz my favourite shoe has worn out real bad. yeAhz, i only haf 1 pair of shOe for walking arnd n for sch. i nEed another shoe, watch, laptop & money for transport. like reAlly reAlly. i just feel sOo pOor. nO NO, im nt asking anyone to sympathise wif me, i just wanna share my agOny of bEing pOor. it sucks all the time when u cant get the things u need. And the pressure of weAring brAnded gOods is still oN toP of my head. cant get rid of it. ppl arnd me ar all rich or shall i say cAn afford to buy the necessities they need. good for u all. bAd for me. And i guess, making new friEnds everyday is nt a gOod idea. but i dun wana appear stUck up. it's hard to adApt. bUt i will try.
Besides that, my twin's revelation is coming up soOn. I will just pray for the best for her. As for my confrOntation, i guess, i wil haf to put it off first. Not now. Having tests soon and i dun wann distractions. Howver, i must admit, i feel the cringe EVERYDAY. To do wat im suppose to do and coNfroNt it all. but, its not the time yet. yUpp.