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Sunday, July 01, 2007

OUh weLL.. iM in DILEMMA. yeS, u sAw it riGht. DILEMMA.

hMm... i duNo wAt aM i sUppoSe tO dO nOw... iM onCE agaiN bEin stRuCk wif UNHAPPY iNcidEnts. yEs, oNce agAin! wAt da heLL iS thiS?? wHy aM i sufFering again?? y iSsit nvr eNdin?? oUh ya, SO MUCH FOR MY HAPPY ENDING dAd, yeAh... wAtEVer.

M1 BUGS me & kip aSkin mE abt IT. M3 thiNks iM hAvin lOve/relAtiOnship prObs. My stEpmOm iS shOwin AttitUdEs. My dad iS thrOwin tAntruMs. My fREns arE faCin thEir own probs. my SistErs arE bUsy wif thEir owN lives. & iM suffErin frM thE consequEnces of aLL the abOve stAtEments.

iM juS siCk of hAvin tO tiNk abt oThErs b4 maseLf. why cAnt i juS lEad a hAppy life w/o tOo mUCh wOrries likE my othEr frieNds? aM i madE tO facE aLL thEse nEver-eNdin chAllEngEs? i hAd eNuff oKay. iM tirEd. iM fAtigUe. iM jUs siCk. i dUn wAna tiNk abt anymOre sOlutiOns tO any proBlEms that oCCur. NOT ANYMORE. ENOUGH.

hA hA hA, aS if iTs that siMplE Shaikah. AS IF. u cAnt pOssibLy igNore evrytiNk thAt is hAppEnin aroUnd u, u cant! bCoz, it involvEs YOU. U arE onE of thE mAin prOtagoniSt in ur life story. u cAnt avoid thAT. u cAnt chg thAt. u hAf tO accEpt it. u hAf tO deaL wif it. nO mAttEr wAt. u hAF tO stAnd strOng & prOve thAt u caN lEad a bEtter liFe thAn b4. And u wiLL aSk, ' but hOw? hOw aM i gOnA stAy stRong fOrever?' And u wiLL continUE by sAyin ' iM nOt a rObot. & iM reAlly tireD of aLL thiS shitz.' hA hA hA. tHat's ur bUsinEss shAikAh. fiGure oUt urseLf. i caNt heLp U. iM jUS ur shAdOw. i juS fOllow u whErever u gO & suppoRT u in wAtEvEr u dO. i caNt prOteSt. i cANt oPposE. U decidE evrytiNk shAikah. iM iNvolvE in ur lifE story bUt i cAnt dO anytHing tO heLp u. i jUS dun hAf tHE abiLity toO. u gEt wAt i meAn? iT's u. it's juSt u. MaybE, u caN gEt heLp frOm sumOnE. suMonE thAt is wiLLing tO shArE hiS/hEr lifE wif U. somEonE thAt cAres & loVe u. somEonE thAt iS ablE tO chg ur lifE stOry intO a fAirytaLe wif a HAPPY ENDING. yeS. tt's wat i tiNk. thAT's wat ur shAdOw tiNks. And u will say, ' bUt whO? whO iS thAt pErsOn? or iSsit evEn a huMan?cAn it be any gEniE or a mutAnt or a wiZard? nO onE cAn chg my life, ShadOw. No oNe. iM borN tO livE in thiS coMplicatEd wOrLd & tO faCE aLL thE troUblEs. MOST of thE tiMe, i hAf tO eNdurE thE shitz alOnE. Shadow, ur arE USELESS. stop fOllowin ME. gO drOwn urseLf in thE rEd sEa or suMtink. i dun wAnna sEe u anymOre. gET it? U FREAK. gET oUt of my lifE. ur a jiNx. daMn.'.


So fOr nOw, gO slap urseLf 3 tiMes on eacH sidE & bAng ur heAd 10 tiMes againtS thE waLL. & thEn,u wiLL fEeL bEtter. trUst mE, ur shAdOw. .

& i shAll onCE again deCidE if i wAnna fOlloW ur sUggEstiOn, ShadOw. i wiLL tiNk abOut it.

-_DOUBTFUL behAviOur. MorBit iMaginAtiOns.SupprESsed LIFE._-

* 7/01/2007 01:41:00 AM
___________________________________________________________________

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